Life and Blog Update

Hello, beauties! It's been a while since I've done a lifestyle post. I've felt really disconnected from my blog lately (and from the online word in general). It might seem like the complete opposite since I have been posting steadily, but the truth is I've been letting my blog run on its own for some time. I've had tons of queued posts for weeks and still have more left. I currently have pre-scheduled posts up until August 15! Plus I have a ton of drafts and a notebook full of ideas for future posts. As you can tell, I haven't lost any motivation or desire to keep running this blog. In fact, I enjoy it more and more as time goes by. Yet things in my personal life have made me shy away from social media and the Internet in general. My blog comments have gone unanswered (but not unread, I promise) and my emails have too. I owe replies to a few of you and I hate being the flaky girl that doesn't answer. 


I'm not disenchanted with my blog at all, but the thought of logging in and dealing with online things makes me run the other way. Even simple things that I used to do like being active on Twitter or replying to emails seem unappealing now. I've been like this for about a month. I just don't want to deal with anything. Simple things give me anxiety and stress. I know the reason behind it and have been trying to address it, but it's a new transitional period so it's hard and confusing. I believe I mentioned in passing once that my boyfriend is in the Navy and that I was nervous for his upcoming deployment. Well, deployment date came and went. He is already gone and is 1.5 months into his 7 month deployment. I talked to other military significant others through email and read a gazillion military spouse/girlfriend blogs while trying to "prepare" myself. They all said the first deployment was the worst and had some great words of encouragement and advice. The first few weeks were honestly fine. I was sad, worried, and really missed him since I was accustomed to talking to him multiple times a day, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. However, some weeks ago a  shipmate in my boyfriend's boat passed away. It made me even more worried about his emotional well-being and state of mind. Also, it put horrible thoughts in my head like: what if it had been him? Military service members die every year. It's an ever present possibility that people force themselves not to think about (you have to or else you would experience anxiety all day) but events like this remind you of it. What if the last communication you have with your significant other is a measly email? And since his deployment is around Africa, that's pretty much all we get most of the time (monitored emails). To make matters worse, about a week after the shipmate's passing a member of my boyfriend's family passed away tragically and suddenly. He is not able to return home on emergency leave so he and his family have to grieve separately.

My friends and family have been great, but I've been really distracted in general. I've done a lot to keep myself busy with school and other things but have also been really bummed out about not having a part-time job. I was working steadily since August of last year but have been jobless for a months now. I've been on the lookout for a new part-time job but have very limited options. Since I switched majors at university, I've been trying to play catch up and enroll in as many courses per semester as I can. That leaves very little free time for a job. Needless to say, I've had to cut back on my  spending a lot. Which brings me to the blog related update in this post. Recently, I've accepted more sponsored posts than I would like because I have been trying to save up money to purchase plane tickets to visit my best friends and enjoy a much needed vacation. (P.S. By the time this post goes live, I'll probably already be on holiday. You can see holiday pics on my Instagram in the next couple of days.) I've never been the type of person to accept every offer that comes along just so I can make a quick buck off my blog. Sadly, it's my only possible source of income right now. Still, it's not how I would normally run my blog so it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. Don't worry, I'm very adamant about disclosures so you can skip those sponsored posts if you prefer. 

My intention was not to be mopey, make excuses or gather sympathy with this post. It hasn't all been negative and I'm grateful for a lot of things in my life right now: my health, my family, my friends, the fact that I'm getting good grades at school, the fact that after being terrified of driving and without a car for years I am now finally driving, etc. And I know military members and significant others willingly signed up for it so I "shouldn't" complain. At least I've been having a lot of fun preparing care packages (trying to find a bright side). I'm also very glad for all the positivity and support I've seen in the beauty blogging community and from my readers. Thank you! Writing this was quite therapeutic. 


Have a lovely day, all! If you managed to read the entire thing then you're pretty great. If you are going through hard times then I hope it all looks up for you soon. :) Also, since I've been able to make such a big dent in my blog to-do list, I'd love to take in requests from you. They can be anything: a makeup look, a review, etc. Leave them in the comments.

38 comments

  1. Wow, I can't imagine how stressful that must be - poor you! Hope everything gets a bit easier to deal with soon

    Laura | Laurzrah xx

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    1. Thank you for the kind words, Laura!!

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  2. :( sounds like a very stressful time. I'm not surprised you've been a little MIA - I think most people would do the same in your situation. I hope you find a job soon, but enjoy your holiday, you definitely deserve it!

    Sam | Tiny Paint Pot xx

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  3. How stressful. I think you're doing great and it helps everyone to have a bit of time off now and again! :-)

    xxx | daisydaisyxxo

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  4. Awh, Coco, that sounds absolutely stressful. I've never been in your situation but if I try to put myself in your shoes, it's scary :/ I think you're doing a good job and I'm glad you're able to find people to talk to in similar situations. & hey, if you're getting the offers and they don't make you feel totally uncomfortable, than why not? we all have to make money somehow and if it's going to send you on a relaxing holiday, than more power to you! :)

    Jess | The Mod Mermaid

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  5. OMG I don't even want to know how it's like to let your loved one go to the army !! take care ! :/

    Sara,
    http://thecrimeofashion.blogspot.fr

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  6. Coco! You are so strong for being able to deal with what seems like the weight of the world. Though it may seem hard to cope with such a drastic adjustment, one day you will look back and be proud of yourself for your strength and perseverance. You're an amazing blogger that I check everyday and I can't help but thank you and aspire to be as successful as you are (and be able to juggle my life at the same time)! Keep your head up, we are here for you and will keep following and supporting you along your journey!

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  7. Hey Coco! You are a brave girl and this vacation has come at a good time! Life takes it toll.. don't let it affect you badly .. your bf would definitely want you to be strong and happy in these times! Cheer up and have a great time! Don't feel bad abut the sponsored posts its totally cool! :-)

    TheConscienceFund

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  8. i've always respected you as a beauty blogger (you're just such a great writer, and you have such an awesome persona) but this has made me reaffirm that respect 900%. I'm super grateful that you've chosen to share this all with us. I hope you know these things about yourself:
    a) Your boyfriend loves you so much. He does, and when he's back on shore leave, you guys will have the most wonderful time together.
    b) You're such a hardworking person, stuff in life will fall together in the right way. I'm personally a very anxious person; I get panic attacks, I cry for no reason, so I can relate to you in terms of stress. But you should remember that only you can control so much, the rest is out of your hands, and therefore not worth you worrying.
    c) Your move to change degrees is so gutsy and inspiring. Heck, you've inspired so many people in your readership by maintaining this blog. I've reexamined whether it's possible to do what I want to do, and your transition has really touched a note in me! So whatever the outcome is, it will be amazing, because you've actively chosen a better path.

    Whatever happens, you're a kickass lady. I'm positively sure that everyone in this readership has got your back, and is cheering for you. Good luck with everything and have fun on your vacation! x

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  9. Don't worry, we all understand. I'm going truth hard time to and it's nice to see that I'm not alone. Reading blog has been for me a kind of little help and I decided to do my own. Take care of you and enjoy your holidays, you deserve it :)

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  10. I share the same thing when it comes to drafts but at most I have enough for a month! You aren't oblidged to share so much with us but I do like hearing about snippets of people lives. I'm glad to hear you're copping but am sorry that you have to worry and stress. I can't imagine what its like to be worried about someone away during service and possibly having their life in danger. I wish for a safe return for your boyfriend and hope your school smooths out! Don't worry, I would follow you regardless of whether or not you have the time to chit chat or respond because your blog content is just wonderful!

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  11. Know that everyone is here to encourage/uplift you, Coco! Just yesterday I was thinking about how great your blog posts have been lately! Even your sponsored posts make me want to buy everything you mention. I know I can't directly say "thank you" for your boyfriend's service but THANK YOU.

    Stay positive and know that everything will work out.

    xo -Shelbey

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  12. Sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch, I hope things start looking up for you soon.

    www.peonyandpeach.blogspot.com

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  13. Coco - this post proves why you're one of the best and most dedicated beauty bloggers out there. I think I've fangirl end enough over your blog in the past, but seriously, having preschedulded posts for such a long time that are still such great quality is seriously impressive, especially considering your boyfriends deployment. I hope you enjoy your holiday so much! All your readers appreciate the need to monetize and it never compromises your blog in my opinion. Much love, Katy xx

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  14. Take the time for yourself, lots of virtual hugs from me.

    Georgina from FOX ON THE HUNT

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  15. Aww Coco, I hope things get better for you soon!You're an amazing blogger and I hope you have a wonderful holiday xx

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  16. Sending you SO much love right now! I can only imagine how tough it is for your boyfriend to be deployed right now. You are such a lovely person, and I know you will make it through this rocky period even stronger than you were before! <3 <3 <3 You can do it all!! :)

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  17. Oh Coco that sounds like such a hard thing to deal with! I'm glad you've managed to find the brighter side of it and have managed to find comfort in that. I know you said that you have been shying away from the internet, but remember that we are all always here, just send me an email or DM anytime, even if just to rant. Maybe you could do a post about preparing care packages or tips to deal with long distance relationships - I'm sure it would help a lot of people out there in a similar situation! All the best and I hope things only go up from here for you.

    Isobel xx

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  18. Oh Coco, I hope things will get better! Sending you a lot of love from here <3<3
    Enjoy your upcoming vacation ! ;**

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  19. I'm really happy that you felt well enough to 'vent' on here, that is what your readership are here for you know? Not just the beauty posts - and for the record, I love reading your sponsored posts because I know they are honest so don't stress about getting paid for doing your work well on here. Thinking of you x enjoy your holiday!

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  20. I totally understand the feeling of being disenchanted with the whole blogging world. And I don't blame you, take a break, refresh yourself. You never "have to" do this, even though you may feel that way. Its meant to be fun ! Hope all is going ok on your end, I am so sorry to hear about your boyfriend's losses. Feel better, an don't stress yourself out. Your loyal readers will still be here xoxo

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  21. Thank you for sharing this post. It sounds like you've been going through a pretty stressful time. I would definitely be worrying about my husbands well-being too if so much was happening and we had so little contact. I've been having difficulty keeping up with blogging stuff as well, but I'm also slacking on posting. I'm having these weird conflicting emotions of feeling so inspired and wanting to blog all the time, but at the same time when I have free time from school I have to force myself to do blog related things. Anyways, this reply is going to turn into a novel if I don't stop myself now. haha. Hope you are feeling less stressed and hope your vacation goes well. I'd also like to let you know that I like reading your posts, sponsored or not.

    xo Ashley

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  22. It sounds like a really stressful time, but it sounds like you have some wonderful friends and family around you & I hope that things feel a little easier with time! <3

    Jennie xo | sailorjennie.com

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  23. I know exactly what you mean about feeling disconnected from the internet, I've been struggling to keep up with it all for a while, and I haven't replied to any comments yet this month which I feel terrible about! I hope you start to feel more like yourself again soon! xxx

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  24. Ah, sounds like things have been really challenging for you lately. Totally understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and distracted. I can totally relate to feeling like throwing my blog out the window when life gets chaotic, yet somehow sticking to blogging has kept me grounded in a way while other areas of my life have been stressful. Sending hugs and good wishes your way! xo

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  25. Im so sorry its been really challenging! I hope your ok and well xx

    BerrieBlogs {beauty and lifestyle blog}

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  26. That sounds like so much to deal with Coco, but stay strong, you'll get through it. I hope your enjoy your time away and definitely focus on the positives in your life, though I know it's hard x

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  27. I hope things get better for you soon, you deserve it!

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  28. I know what you mean with life & blogging, I went through that period too, sometimes you need to step back from the social networking life and just live in the real world and deal with things. It's sad to know you've been going through things and I hope you're on holiday and having a much needed break - it's deserved. Sorry to hear about your boyfriend's loss - it must of been difficult but hopefully he'll be back before you even realise it. It's the adjustment period. Adore you and your blog - you do whatever you need to get somewhere xo

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  29. That sounds extremely stressful, and I hope things smooth out for you soon. I've been feeling the same way about blogging and YT but I'm figuring it out as I go. I hope you have an awesome holiday! :)

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  30. Aw, Coco, I'm glad you shared this with us. I am so sorry about everything going on with your boyfriend's shipmate and then family member passing away. Even though you "signed up" for it, it doesn't make living without your SO any easier and it doesn't make your feeling any less valid! If anything, it's even more incredible that he is willing to make sacrifices like these for his country, and everyone in his family deserves even more respect and love. My h.s. sweetheart went away to the naval academy after graduation and it was unbelievably hard. My heart goes out to you. Spend your time doing the things you love and don't worry about accepting more sponsored posts and whatnot. Your reviews are honest regardless of how you received the product and your readers know that. So no worries about that! I am glad you have a holiday coming up as some restoration will do your spirit good. Much love, doll! XOXO

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  31. Sending you a big virtual hug, I really enjoyed reading this post, and I am glad to hear you have found it a therapeutic experience. Have a nice holiday xxx

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  32. I can understand why you would feel stressed in a situation like that. I hope you feel better soon !

    -xx

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  34. Coco I’m so proud of you for being so strong through these rough times. I really admire how you still maintain a level head though everything. I honestly wish you (and your boyfriend) the best.

    Dejhana || Waite a Little

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